You can’t sleep at night. You toss and turn, cold sweat pouring from your face. The question has been eating away at you, and you don’t know how much longer you can take it. “Where can I get modern discount furniture at this time of night!?” Then it comes to you. Like an angel sent from heaven. An ad appears on the side of your Facebook feed for an industrial look three piece table and stools.
It’s by Lumisource. You sit up and let your eyes focus. You're overcome with joy. “This is exactly what I was looking for,” you whisper through tears. “After all these years!”
You follow the ad and place an order for the affordable modern bar set. Peace washes over you. The set would arrive in just a few days, and even though you can’t have it right now, the knowledge that it is on its way is reassuring. You lie down, and with the security that you’ll soon have a bar table and stool set that will change your life, fall into a deep restful sleep for the first time in years.
For this installment of “Miracle Chairs”, we will be discussing the fascinating story of the Orange Attainment Office Chair, and Dilberdee Flea, the most successful person alive. The legend goes that as Dilberdee was just starting school, he came across a discount chair, the Attainment, and bought it for his dorm room. Little did he know, this chair would change his life and the course of history itself.
It’s a little-known fact that the average person spends 75% of his or her time in office chairs attempting to adjust into a more comfortable position. This is a phenomenon we have come to call the “Flea Effect”. Every man woman and child is held back by the Flea Effect, but once Dilberdee sat and studied for the first time in the Attainment, he knew something was different: he never had to readjust.
Due to the extreme comfort of the Attainment, not only did Dilberdee free up the 75% of his time he would have otherwise wasted adjusting his position, effectively quadrupling his productivity, he was also able to slip into a deep state of comfort we now call the “Dilberdee Flea Trance”. While in the Dilberdee Flea trance, one becomes incredibly productive, solving problems and doing work much faster than otherwise. Because of this 2 pronged approach, Dilberdee was able to graduate with a dual Bachelors/Masters degree in Poli Sci at the age of 16, he was also the first person to earn three Nobel prizes before 25.
The story of Dilberdee Flea is remarkable, and it begs the age-old question: How much of what Flea accomplished was inside him all along, and how much was due to the reality-bending comfort of the Attainment. We may never know the answer.
Remember to come back next time, when we’ll be revealing the secret behind how the Curvo Mid-Century Bar Stools changed life in Australia, maybe forever.